Yesterday was a good day in that I spent a lot of (too much!) time pottering about on WordPress, familiarizing myself with it more (I’m starting to like it! I definitely think WordPress blogs look better than Blogger ones). I’m also starting to feel more at home again in the blogosphere. After writing my post yesterday, I had a moment of despair and began to wonder what the fucking point of blogging was but, after a couple of old readers had left comments, I began to feel better. “I am human and I need to be loved” etc., etc.
However, just before going to bed, I made the mistake of logging onto one of the local escort review boards and searching for any new reviews of myself. I don’t really know why I felt it was important to do this as the last activity in my day, as I try to stay off those boards as often as possible. Generally speaking, I think they are really unhealthy, fucked-up places. Oh, for those of you who don’t know what escort review boards are, well, they are places where clients post reviews of sex workers they have seen. The women can also use the boards to verify a client’s identity and to check that someone is not a psychopath. The boards are supposed to be beneficial to both clients and sex workers in that both parties are protected – the guys from women who rip them off or give bad “service”; and the girls from guys who may want to harm them. In reality, however, they are just one big fucking online locker room for emotionally and sexually immature men to boast about their sexual “conquests” (which they had to pay for! Helloooooo!?). I don’t really think these boards offer much protection to women. If somebody is intent on meeting and physically harming a woman, he will find some way to do it.
However, I digress…I discovered that someone had written a bad review me of last night! This is somewhat unusual for me because, in about 3.5 years of working as an erotic masseuse, I have more than forty reviews, and all but one or two of them are positive. This guy had the absolute gall to say – among other things – that I had an “OK face”. Of course, this was hurtful but luckily I am supremely arrogant and confident about my looks so it didn’t bother me too much. The trouble with living in this part of the world is that, from time to time, you come across some yokel who’s taking a day off from fucking his sister in a trailerpack, and, well, how can you really expect such types to appreciate high cheekbones, full red lips and big blue eyes, all topped off with a cute, little pixie cut?
What annoys me is not the insult but the fact that some clueless moron, completely lacking in taste, has the audacity to pass judgement on me and my looks? What makes this person think they are qualified to do this?!
Getting away from my huge ego and self-adoration, however, what bothers me the most is that these guys feel that they have the right to come into a woman’s home, partake of her hospitality (and deft wrist movements!) and then write a negative review! They would be well within their right to do so if the woman in question had misrepresented herself to them, had ripped them off, or had a terrible attitude but none of these things applied to the session I had with this guy. I don’t remember who he was but I am always perfectly welcoming and friendly to clients unless they give me a reason not to be. I also wouldn’t have minded if the guy had just said “nice girl, but not my type at all”. It’s OK that guys don’t find me attractive (even though I do think this displays a severe lack of taste), but why phrase your lack of attraction to a sex worker in such negative terms?
It all boils down to the fact that some of these guys think women are commodities, there only to fulfil their needs and desires. If the shoe was on the other foot, and I had received a massage from a guy I didn’t find attractive, I just couldn’t imagine posting something negative about him online if he had treated me well.
To be perfectly frank, though, I got off lightly with an “OK face”. The worst review I ever read was by a guy who described a sex worker’s (apparently less than perky) breasts as being like “spaniel ears”. The guy had posted this information in a part of the board that was supposed to be for the men’s eyes only but somehow it ended up being posted openly somewhere else on the internet. I just can’t imagine how that poor woman would have felt if she ever read that about herself. True, the guy didn’t mention her breasts in the public part of the review but, nonethefuckingless, just what kind of person describes a woman’s body that way?!
God, I need to get out of sex work. Soon, people, soon.