Deliciously tipsy


When I woke up this morning to let my dogs out to pee in the yard, I saw the same bloody wee dog from last night running past my gate again. As I could clearly see its little doggy balls swinging from side to side as it ran, it would appear that it’s not neutered. This would explain the dog’s sense of mission. It’s on the hunt for puppy pussy! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. Then again, maybe I’m just so bored having to deal with the male libido that I filter it out when I’m “off the job”.

If human sexuality were as simple as dog sexuality, I’d probably be out of a job. Today was another good day in terms of clients, though. The first one was a guy I’d seen before, maybe at the end of June. He was another simple-minded one, but I don’t look down on him for this. While it’s true I’d never want to hang out with him because he seems incapable of having any kind of intellectual conversation, he comes across as very genuine and reliable. It’s so rare to find people like this, so I appreciate them when I do. It’s such a shame that we value all the wrong things in our societies. Why do we aspire to be fucking rich and famous when we should be concentrating on being good people?

My second client was a bouncy, upbeat wee Chinese guy who also made me wish that I could be a nicer person. He was so friendly, chatty and inquisitive, and he made me realize that I’m far too filled with judgement and anger. As he was speaking to me, I realized he was just listening and not forming any opinions of me in his mind. It’s sooooo nice to be able to relax with someone without worrying about what they think of you. This was probably one of the main reasons I fell in love with Midwestern Man actually. Unlike the majority of men I’d been with, he never judged me or made me feel bad. For the first time in my life I felt nurtured. Recently, I haven’t been feeling that way quite so much, as we’ve been having problems, but I’m sure I will again.

I beat myself up a lot about my judgemental nature, but I wonder sometimes if that’s just the way I am. The first time I ever talked to Midwestern Man properly he told me about “face reading”, which he had studied in some depth. He “read my face” and I was a bit skeptical at first because it just seemed like an imaginative way to charm me and get into my knickers. However, I was literally blown away by how accurate he was. In fact, he was so accurate that I had a sudden urge to get away from him, as I felt that he knew too much about me.

100yearsmap

He said that my nose and chin suggested that I was very critical (something to do with them ending in a point….I don’t look like a witch or anything but, even though my features are delicate, they are angular); my fairly large forehead meant that I was bossy and liked to take control (um…..true); and that my full lips suggested that I needed to give and receive a lot of love. The final weird thing was to do with my earlobes, and he said that meant I got sick easily and couldn’t abuse my body for long. True again!

If your facial features suggest that you have a certain kind of personality and behaviour, then perhaps it’s just in my nature to be judgemental and critical? Can I change? Should I change? Do I really need to accept everything about everybody I meet?!

Midwestern Man, as much as I admire his ability to accept people for who they are, does have an annoying tendency to hang out with people who are, well, nice and sweet people but just not very challenging. One of his colleagues is a nice guy, but he’s such a stoner slacker type, and I see no point in hanging around with people like that. They sap you of your own energy and drive. Sometimes I think that Midwestern Man would do well to develop a more critical nature. I, on the other hand, perhaps could learn to be more tolerant. Every time I see this friend of his, I know that I probably radiate judgement about his stoner, lazy ways. Why bother doing that? I could just learn to accept that’s how he is, and then get away from him as fast as possible!

God, this post kinda went off on a totally weird tangent. That’s what happens when you start drinking a bottle of “Samuel Smith’s Organic Cider” before you write anything. Mmmm. Yum! I’m so deliciously tipsy!

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4 thoughts on “Deliciously tipsy

  1. yogurtry September 25, 2009 at 1:12 pm Reply

    I work hard to stem my judgemental nature. I came by it honestly. I’m tolerant on the level that counts but I tend to form negative opinions a little too quickly. And I do not have a pointy nose, whatsoever.

  2. petrichoric September 25, 2009 at 1:26 pm Reply

    Ha, that part about the pointy nose or lack thereof made me laugh out loud. To be honest, I don’t know how this face reading thing works because obviously certain races, say African Americans, are very rarely going to have certain features e.g. the famous pointy nose. According to my husband, there are guidelines for each race, though.

  3. Terry September 26, 2009 at 7:02 am Reply

    I am so intrigued by this, the possibility to analyze someone this way. But isn’t it like astrology ? How can one analysis of a sign or a facial feature apply to thousands, millions or billions of people ? Very intriguing.

    • petrichoric September 26, 2009 at 3:52 pm Reply

      Don’t you believe in astrology, though? I don’t believe in those stupid little daily astrology reports you get in tabloid newspapers, but I do think that there is something to it if you look at it in more depth. As for face reading, it’s the same thing. The only thing I don’t understand about face reading is that if someone’s facial features suggest their personality trait, doesn’t that mean there is very little we can do to change our personality and behaviour?

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