I really need to start posting on here in the morning (as I always intend to do, but somehow never quite get around to) because, quite frankly, I just can’t be bothered writing anything at this time of night. I’m just too bloody tired. Back in the “good ol’ days” (2006-2008) when I had my other blog, I used to enjoy staying up late writing blog posts way into the wee hours of the morning. I was probably more lonely back then, and needed to feel that there was “somebody out there” listening. Now, of course, I’m married, so I don’t stare into the black void quite so often.

Right now I’m not in the best of moods as I’ve spent the last couple of hours contacting people to give me a reference so I can reapply to the godawful teacher training program I had to drop out of this year because I didn’t have a work permit. I still don’t have a work permit but as I wouldn’t actually start this program again until the fall of next year, it won’t matter, as it will have turned up long before then.

Why am I re-applying to this program if I hated it so much? Well, simply because beggars can’t be choosers. I would much prefer to go to grad school in another state to get certified in a proper university setting, and not some stupid alternative certification program, but I really can’t afford to go off to grad school next year. 2011 probably, but not 2010. There are, of course, university teaching programs here, but I’m loathe to spend lots of moolah and time in this town when I want to leave. I just don’t want to be tied to a graduate program for two years. I’d stay here for that amount of time if I actually had a career, but not just to be a bloody student again! Besides, I’ve looked at the main university’s teaching program, and it’s just not that good. If I’m going to go to grad school, I may as well go somewhere good.

Also, as good old Magnús Magnússon himself said, “I’ve started, so I’ll finish”. Yes, I know that reference is probably completely lost on non-UK readers but, ach well, you’ve got fingers, haven’t you?! You can google him if you’re interested. He’s a wee picture of Magnus in all his glory, though:


[Noooooo! When trying to find the above picture, I found out that Magnús died in 2007! I had no idea!!!! Noooooo! Why is everybody dying in Britain? First, there was Wendy Richardson (I’m a huge Eastenders fan so this was a blow); then there was Jade Goody, and then there was that bloke from Boyzone (well, OK, he was Irish but, still, close enough to the UK)…and now I find Magnús is gone, too?! Who next, I ask? Who next?]

Why did death have to claim all of these people when he could taken the old crone in the certification program?! Seriously!

I’m going to make a prediction: despite the fact that I did great work during my time in the program; that I have a Master’s; that I’m really passionate about helping “high needs” students, I predict that this Southern Belle Bitch will not accept me back into the program.

I predict that she will probably invite me for interview just to have the sadistic pleasure of being able to reject me. Just for the simple reason that she, personally, doesn’t like me. I’m just not blonde, bubbly and fake enough for her.

Oh well. To be perfectly frank, I won’t be all that bothered if I don’t get back into the program. I’ll just file a complaint about the way that woman treated me, and then I’ll move onto bigger and better things.


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6 thoughts on “Disheartened

  1. Reluctant Blogger October 23, 2009 at 11:46 am Reply

    Oops I didn’t realise that Magnus was dead either and I live here. Well, I’m not sure my mind is here most of the time to be honest!

    You should only write if you want/need to write, not feel obliged to do so or it will become a horrid chore and you’ll give up. And we don’t want that!

  2. yogurtry October 23, 2009 at 10:30 pm Reply

    Southern Belles – not my favorite brand of female, either.

  3. pandabox33 October 25, 2009 at 8:44 am Reply

    Maybe the bitch won’t be there anymore, she will have moved far far far away. Maybe the program has a new teacher. Maybe knowing how you feel about her and all that, you will be able to distance yourself…knowing that the problem is her, not you.

  4. Fantastic Forrest October 26, 2009 at 2:23 pm Reply

    There is a lot of money available for teacher training, especially in certain underrepresented areas, but I don’t know if your status as a non-US citizen would disqualify you. I have a masters in teaching from a western university and had considered getting ESL certification – there are a ton of places offering degrees and programs, and Washington state offers students loans that convert to outright scholarships after one has taught for a couple of years. Check with your state’s department of education and the federal DOE.

    After reading about your horrible experience with the Southern Belle, I’d encourage you to find another school. You don’t need the constant aggravation, and there MUST be other choices. I’m rooting for you to succeed and achieve your goal! 🙂

  5. K October 31, 2009 at 6:57 am Reply

    Just dropped by to say hi and see what yer up to these days. All change. Married with stushies. You never go down the path of least resistance! Keeps things lively spose.

  6. Reluctant Blogger November 1, 2009 at 9:21 am Reply

    And you have, haven’t you? You’ve given up.

    I’ve been away so I have only just noticed. Do come back. I am sure you could keep writing if you did not set yourself impossible targets.

    Hope you are OK?

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