Is Arekino actually “Belle de Jour”?


Is it just me or do you also find it suspicious that Arekino (see the comments on my last blog post) returned to the blogosphere exactly one day before Belle de Jour finally outed herself? Could they be the same person? You never know. Anyway, whatever your story is, welcome back, Arekino.

Ooh, I have been naughty, haven’t I? I’ve stayed away for such a long time. I don’t know what happened really. I just got out of the habit of blogging. Also, I have been really sick with allergies, and too tired to do anything but the very bare minimum.

I don’t exactly have very much to write about either. The higlight of this month so far was finally saving up the $1600 I needed to file my immigration paperwork so I can adjust my status from a student visa to become a permanent resident in the US. I have no idea why it should cost so fucking much to send off four forms, but it does. It’s outrageous. If all goes to plan, I should receive my work permit by the end of December/early January. The next stage will be the interview for the green card in which Midwestern Man and I have to prove that we didn’t just get married for immigration purposes. Shouldn’t be too difficult to prove that, as it is a real marriage. Mind you, we definitely wouldn’t have got married so quickly if my visa hadn’t been about to run out.

There are times when I think we made a huge mistake getting married only a year (almost to the day) after going on our first date. No matter which way you look at it, we weren’t ready for it. Almost as soon as I’d fedexed my immigration paperwork off, we startred having huge fights. I don’t know if that was just a coincidence or if things suddenly seemed more serious now that we were making our marriage “official” (at least in the eyes of the USCIS – United States Citizen and Immigration Services). Things have calmed down a lot since then because I actually emailed Midwestern Man’s mother telling her how unhappy we were. Perhaps it sounds weird that I did that, but I just wanted somebody else to know about what we were going through. I think it helped us a lot not to have to struggle all by ourselves. We’re going to get counselling, too. We both have such horrible tempers and are incredibly stubborn, so we often end up in a stalemate with neither one of us wanting to back down.

I think things will work themselves out. We’re both going back to Midwestern Man’s parents’ place for Christmas in (surprise!) a Midwestern City. I can’t say I’m exactly thrilled about going there again (it’s hardly a top holiday destination) but his family are quite adorable, and it’s lovely to see what a healthy family dynamic looks like. There’s just so much love to go around, and a total lack of judgement. My own family was exactly the opposite. We will also be buying Midwestern Man’s stepdad’s mother’s car, and we’ll be driving it all the way back down south! I’ve never been on a road trip in the US before (although I did go from Coast to Coast all by myself by Amtrak when I was eighteen), and the romance of it really excites me. I’m pretty obsessed with road trip movies and if I could somehow get by being on a permanent road trip, I would! The idea of constantly moving and never staying in one place appeals to me a lot.

The good news is that I will be able to post every day from the road with my iPhone, so hopefully there will be some more interesting posts coming up soon! Hurrah!

Hmmm, what else is new? Oh, I’ve been applying to alternative teacher certification programs again – I reapplied to the one I was in before (although the idea of actually being accepted and having to deal with that Southern Belle Bitch fills me with dread) and a different one, which might suit me better because it’s run by a non-profit organisation and is actually geared towards putting teachers in high-need schools. I’m also planning on applying to New York City Teaching Fellows and Teach for America. I don’t know how I feel about these programs, however, as I’d have to relocate if I got accepted, and I’m not sure I can handle moving to a brand new place right at the moment and having to deal with being a first-year teacher in a challenging school. Both Midwestern Man and I are totally broke so, even though we’re both tired of this city and want a change, it might make more sense for us to stay here, and build up some savings before taking off for somewhere new.

Well, I’ll let you know what happens as regards my teaching career.

Shall I meet you all back here tomorow night then, eh? Just a suggestion…trying to keep myself accountable.

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14 thoughts on “Is Arekino actually “Belle de Jour”?

  1. Arekino November 18, 2009 at 7:08 am Reply

    And I’m glad to be back. For as long as it lasts anyway. As for my story, I could post a summary of the last year or so, if you wish.

    It looks like you have a good thing going there. A nice life. I think you’re right about not spreading yourself too thin. Save your energies for those things that really matter, I say.

    • petrichoric November 18, 2009 at 12:10 pm Reply

      I hope things haven’t been too bad for you. Have you completely deleted your blog?! If so, that was a shame. Writing always makes me feel better, and maybe that would have worked for you as well. If you like, email me a little story about what happened to you over the last year. The all important question is: did you finally meet a nice lady and have some good sex?

  2. Reluctant Blogger November 18, 2009 at 8:19 am Reply

    Oh good I’m glad you are back.

    It all sounds very stressful and uncertain (or exciting – depending on your frame of mind I suppose). Yesterday I would probably have read your post and thought “oh wow, so many exciting possibilities”, today I thought “oh dear, so much to sort out”.

    But I think generally it’s best to make changes one at a time. Not advice I ever follow myself though!

    I have no idea who Arekino is.

    • petrichoric November 18, 2009 at 12:14 pm Reply

      Reluctant Blogger, of course you know who Arekino is! He was the Dutch guy who used to comment on my blog a lot. Don’t you remember?

      I think my life at the moment *could* be exciting, yes, but the uncertainty and stress of it does detract from that unfortunately. I think things will be better once I actually get my work permit and (hopefully) can train to be a teacher again. It will be nice to have a proper salary with regular work hours. For the time being, I’m just looking forward to our road trip. I’m at my best when I’m travelling and can see lots of new things and places. It makes me feel so light-hearted and free.

  3. yogurt November 18, 2009 at 10:20 am Reply

    Twenty years later, I still wonder if we should have gotten married! Most of the time I am very happy and believe I’ve married “the right man,” other times I’m moderately happy, sometimes I’m bored out of my skull and miss the excitement of dating, sometimes I’m miserable and think he’s deliberately trying to deprive me of love and affection. We’re both stubborn and headstrong, too. The fighting and the doubting, I think, is inevitable. Another chapter in the book, “why marriage is so hard.”

    Belle du Jour’s story is fascinating. I don’t know that I’ve ever been to her blog but now I want to check it out.

    • petrichoric November 18, 2009 at 12:19 pm Reply

      I always love your comments, as they reassure me a lot about marriage and relationships, in general. It’s good to know that other people also have big crises of doubt. I guess I never thought that would be the case. I thought you met “the one” and that you’d be 100% sure they’d be right or you. God knows why I thought that. I’ve never been 100% sure about anything.

      I don’t know how I feel about “Belle de Jour”. I am surprised sh’es real actually, as I always thought her writing seemed too polished right from the very get-go to be the work of an amateur. But it turns out that she used to have a successful science blog before starting “Belle de Jour”, so maybe that explains that. There are many things I can relate to about what she says (i.e. that being a sex worker just really isn’t all that bad…at least for those of us who are the privileged, educated ones who have choices) but I do also think that she wrote in such a fluffy, sensationalistic manner so she could get a book deal. Her blog didn’t really seem to touch on the darker side of the sex industry and, oh, there most definitely is one.

  4. Judith November 19, 2009 at 3:58 am Reply

    LMAO. I’m glad Arekino is back, but I really hope he’s not Belle — I can’t stand that bitch.

    And I’m glad you’re posting again, Petri (or what should your nick be? I still want to call you Slutty, as much as I wasn’t fond of that one).

    • petrichoric November 21, 2009 at 5:05 pm Reply

      Yes, I’m glad that Arekino is back, too, and, yes, Belle de Jour always was a bit annoying.

      You can call me “Pet”, if you’re dying to find a nickname for me. That’s a common term of endearment in parts of Nothern England (and maybe Nothern Ireland?), so I quite like it.

  5. justme November 19, 2009 at 5:01 am Reply

    Relationships are ALWAYS complicated, and I suspect very few people are ever 100% sure they are ‘right’ all of the time. It sounds as though you are committed to trying to work things through. That is the best anyone can do.
    Good to hear you are applying for the teaching programmes and lets hope you get on to one that will suit you better than the last one!
    Enjoy the road trip!

    • petrichoric November 21, 2009 at 5:06 pm Reply

      Well, yes, I am committed to trying to make things work. I would feel terrible if we didn’t try, and things fell apart for that reason. I imagine that’s why a lot of people’s marriages fall apart.

  6. The One November 19, 2009 at 3:54 pm Reply

    I’m back, been away and just read your comments. Hopefully we might get this back link thing worked out between us!

    • petrichoric November 21, 2009 at 5:06 pm Reply

      Glad to see that you are back. I was beginning to think something had happened to you!

  7. Xul November 19, 2009 at 6:43 pm Reply

    Woohoo! Arekino is back! What the heck happened to ya?

    • petrichoric November 21, 2009 at 5:07 pm Reply

      Yes, he’s back. I guess I’ll leave it up to him to tell you all about it.

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