My mood has improved considerably since yesterday’s Scrooge-like post. After blogging, I wasted some more time surfing the internet (New Year’s Resolution: Stop looking up so much pointless trivia online!) and then I eventually managed to get my act together and take my dogs for a walk. It was so peaceful outside. This town is filled with with “transplants”, and they must all go back to where they come from during holidays, as there was hardly anybody around. It wasn’t even that they were just all inside with their families, as it was dark, and very few houses had lights on. It felt like I had my whole neighbourhood to myself, and it was lovely. I’ve always loved holidays because it feels like real life is suspended, and that time has stood still. I had even forgotten what day of the week it was yesterday and even though I know today is Saturday, it doesn’t really feel like it. I wish every day could be a holiday. I don’t want to back to my real life but, alas, I will have to – I will try to see more clients later on today.
After walking the dogs, I set about preparing Christmas dinner, which seemed like a huge chore at first (who wants to go to all the effort of preparing a special meal only to eat it alone?!) but I was glad I did in the end because it was goooooooood. I had Tofurky vegetarian roast (tasty, but too salty, as all meat substitute products are, sadly); mustard greens and roasted sweet potatoes. My God, I love sweet potatoes so much that I want to be one! Could there be anything more tasty? Before I came to the US, I don’t think I had ever tried sweet potatoes before. I’m sure that in this era of globalization you must be able to get them back in the Motherland, but it’s hardly like they’re a staple on our tables there.
I’m also a huge fan of collard greens, mustard greens and kale, which are all common in this part of the country. The funny thing is that kale is apparently also very common in the Motherland, and was the only cultivated vegetable we had until the 18th century. Indeed, so common is it that it even lent its name to a whole literary movement, the kailyard school, a group of writers who had an overly sentimental, nostalgic view of rural life. Despite all of this, I had never once tried kale while I lived back home and wouldn’t even have known what it looked like (let alone known how to cook it) had it ambushed me in the street yelling “I am kale! I am kale!”.
Anyway, here is a picture of my Christmas dinner:
Afterwards, I settled down on the sofa with what remained of my nice bottle of Malbec from the night before (and some chocolate mint coconut milk ice-cream! Yum!), and started watching “Barberella“. It was one of those films I had been meaning to watch for years, but had never got around to doing so. I was reminded of it twice recently, though – the first time when “Belle de Jour” finally outed herself, and admitted that she’d worked as an escort with the “Barberella Agency”; the second time when I was at a party and someone asked whether I’d seen the film and looked at me like I’d two heads because I hadn’t (Sheesh, I can’t have seen every single film, you know!).
Usually, I’m not overly excited about kitsch films, but I did enjoy it quite a bit. It was certainly a nice antidote to the previous night’s decidely non-Christmas Evey viewing material, “Dogville”. In case you’re wondering, the title of today’s post is one of Anita Pallenberg’s lines in the film (she’s waaaaaaay hotter than Jone Fonda, by the way). Did you know that Duran Duran named themselves after the main villain in “Barberella”, the evil Dr Durand-Durand? I think I did once know that useless piece of trivia, but I’d forgotten.
“MM” and I didn’t even speak to each other yesterday. It wasn’t like we were avoiding each other or anything (we exchanged a few texts), but he called when I was out walking the dogs, and afterwards he was busy with friends and family. He sent me a text in the early hours of the morning saying “I miss you so much. Goodnight”, which made me feel quite guilty, as I can’t say I miss him one whit. In fact, I’m in a fucking fantastic mood! I’m very, very relaxed and chilled out. The tension in my shoulders and neck has completely gone, and I’m just enjoying being by myself. I’m not sure what that means. Perhaps it means I don’t love him, but, then again, have I ever missed anybody all that much? Sure, I’ve missed other guys before, but it was always men who didn’t want me, and I think my longing for them was more obsession than a genuine sense of wanting them close to me.
When it comes to relationships, I do enjoy having somebody in my life so I know that I’m not all alone in the world, but what a drag that you have to put up with so much crap to get that! Life would be so much easier if I could just live on a Barbarella-like spaceship that had a sort of on-board holographic computer, with human emotions, that would talk to me and give me advice, but would basically shut the fuck up the rest of the time. Why the hell has nobody invented such a thing?!