Of dogs and diarrhoea


It’s a beautiful day outside. It’s about fourteen degrees celsius (that’s sixty degrees fahrenheit, you yanks), and the weather is gloriously sunny. I can hear the sound of joyous gospel music from the church across street.

Unfortunately I can also hear the sound of my chihuahua crapping on my bedroom carpet.

I should have known something was up yesterday when I let my two dogs outside in the yard to pee and they didn’t come back when I called. This is nothing unusual for my pit bull (who’s a right little stubborn so-and-so) but my chihuahua is a spoiled wee bitch, and can hardly bear to be separated from me for even two milliseconds, especially if it’s chilly outside. There’s only thing that my chihuahua loves more than me, and that is food. When she didn’t come back, I immediately suspected that some moron had thrown bones over the fence into my yard for my dogs to eat. I was right.

I don’t know why people think they have the right to throw shit into my yard, especially cooked bones which can splinter in a dog’s throat and choke them. I didn’t get a good look at these bones but it also looks there’s some kind of spicy shit on them, which is causing havoc with my dogs’ digestion! My pit bull woke me up at 5:00 a.m. whining incessantly because she obviously had an urgent need to crap. Before going to bed last night, I had to clean up chihuahua crap in front of the main door, and there was another little pile of crap there when I let the pit bull out.

And, oh guess what?! There’s another pile of shit waiting for me in front of the door again right now!

All of this would perhaps be mildly amusing were it not for the fact that my chihuahua is shitting blood. Like many small dogs she gets a condition known as haemorrhagic gastroenteritis if she’s stressed out or eats something she shouldn’t. The first time this happened to her it cost me over $1200 in vet bills to save her life because, yes, this disease can very quickly be deadly. I have now since learned how to limit the damage before it gets to that stage (you start by fasting the dog for a day; then, you switch to a bland diet of chicken and rice) but I’m just incensed that some moron should have inflicted this pain on my dog in the first place (not to mention my floors and nostrils!).

Honestly, sometimes I think I just might buy a gun and shoot at some of my neighbours. It would keep my dogs safe, and it would rid the world of a few morons.

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14 thoughts on “Of dogs and diarrhoea

  1. phd in yogurtry December 28, 2009 at 12:58 pm Reply

    guns, the texas solution. that’s all I’m sayin’

    or better yet, maybe it’s time to cook up a batch of “howdy neighbor botulism brownies?”

    oh, and sorry about the diarrhea. that really is obnoxious of your neighbors.

    • petrichoric December 28, 2009 at 6:10 pm Reply

      Yes, getting a gun is looking like a more and more attractive option right now! Thankfully my chihuahua no longer seems to have the runs. The fasting seems to do the trick for her.

  2. Xul December 29, 2009 at 1:15 am Reply

    A gun, eh? You’re turning into a right proper Southern girl, what with eatin’ the collards and sweet p’taters. LOL

    Infuriating, isn’t it? I have to put up with morons throwing half eaten KFC and such into my yard all the time. My front yard isn’t fenced so I have to take my dogs on the leash and at least I can prevent them from getting to it.

    And what is with these jackasses who think it’s ok to give bones(especially chicken bones) to dogs? I used to work with this one Jamaican guy who was so very proud of himself that he never had to buy dog food because he just gave bones and scraps to his dogs. When I reacted with shock and disbelief, and told him that doing that could kill his dogs, his reply was “I don’t know why you Americans put such value on dogs. If they die, who cares? I’ll just get another dog.” Fucking prick.

    • petrichoric December 29, 2009 at 12:52 pm Reply

      Ha ha! It’s true that I am becoming very Southern. I’ll be changing my name to Blanche Dubois before you know it.

      As regards your Jamaican colleague, some cultures just don’t view animals as very important unfortunately. It’s sad. I really feel that people miss out on a lot if they don’t have a relationship with animals. Cooked chicken bones aside (uncooked ones are OK apparently), I think it’s probably healthier to give dogs table scraps in some cases. Of course, I’m not talking about the leftovers of your McDonalds meal, but leftover meat, veggies, rice, pasta etc. are all fine in my book (although you’d probably have to supplement with a multivitamin or something). I’m just not convinced that most of the commercial dog foods are very good for my pets. I still buy them, for convenience’s sake, but I always buy grain-free ones.

      • Xul December 29, 2009 at 4:19 pm Reply

        Yes, it’s true about certain cultures having little regard for the lives of animals. My best friend is Jamaican, although she was raised in Canada for the better part of her life. She told me that down there a dog is not considered to be a pet. My friend’s mother, while she would never harm an animal, was dead set against having pets in their home(cats or dogs).

        As far as my ex-colleague, he was working side jobs in the food service industry and was bringing home heaps of half eaten chicken carcasses.

        • petrichoric December 29, 2009 at 5:25 pm Reply

          I grew up on a farm and my father would never have hurt an animal, but he definitely thought of them as something practical, there for the benefit of humans. My grandfather used to also drown kittens whenever there were too many on his farm (although he never did that when I was a kid – must have been in the years before it became the norm for farm cats to get spayed). I can’t imagine drowing kittens but, at the same time, I see what happens in my neighbourhood to all the stray kittens that my stupid neighbour feeds but refuses to get fixed – they breed constantly, and many of them get sick and die. I don’t know what’s worse – killing them when they’ve just been born, or letting them live and die a slow, painful death from hunger. Probably the latter.

          • Xul December 29, 2009 at 10:04 pm Reply

            It’s awful to have to drown kittens in a bucket but it’s even worse to make them suffer. (I had grandparents who grew up on farms and it’s just part of life.) I admit that I had to do it once after a previous experience with trying to save newborn kittens whose mother was killed by a car. The poor little things just can’t digest store bought formula and eventually die. So the second time I was in the position of finding newborn kittens whose mother was killed I just had to do the deed. I felt so horrible doing it like I was the worst person in the world but the alternative is much worse. That was years ago. Nowadays you’d probably be arrested for animal cruelty.

            There’s also the jackasses who think it’s just sooo terrible to get animals neutered because it isn’t “macho.”

  3. Arekino December 29, 2009 at 8:15 am Reply

    It’s been freezing the past week over here. And it’s been about 8 to 10 degrees celcius in my house as I haven’t turned on the central heating yet this winter. I’m not sure why I haven’t. Maybe I want to use up as little (natural) gas as possible so that I will owe the gas company as little as possible or maybe I’m just preparing for getting kicked out of my house into the cold. I think I’m getting used to the low temperatures.

    I don’t usually give hugs but please give your chihuahua a get-well-soon hug from me.

    • petrichoric December 29, 2009 at 1:04 pm Reply

      Ha ha, that’s funny about your dislike of hugs. It must be a Northern European thing, as I don’t especially like hugging either. I will hug people on occasion but it’s usually for a special reason – haven’t seen them in a while or they’re upset or something like that. I’m actually a bit suspicious of people who hug other people at the drop of the hat. It seems fake and insincere. My chihuahua really appreciates your hug seeing as you don’t give them out very often!

      Turn on the heating, Arekino! You didn’t seem to have a very good 2009, so you should at least be warm!

      • Xul December 29, 2009 at 4:38 pm Reply

        Yeah, it is a Northern European thing. I used to hate being hugged, but after working with Colombians for over 15 years ya get used to it.

        Our overnight temperature was 8-10 deg. C here and it was about 13 degrees inside. It’s a wonderful change from the heat and humidity. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stay very long. I’m sure it’s another story altogether when you can’t get away from the cold.

        • petrichoric December 29, 2009 at 5:28 pm Reply

          It’s very cold and rainy here today, too. I’m pretty skinny, with very little body fat, so I’m not a big fan of the cold, to be honest. That being said, I do find it terribly dull to live somewhere that doesn’t have four distinct seasons. I think I’d like to live somewhere with a lovely, warm summer and a cold, snowy winter. Scotland was just too damn overcast all year round, and there is no proper summer to speak of.

  4. Fantastic Forrest December 31, 2009 at 5:11 pm Reply

    I cannot fathom someone throwing garbage into another person’s yard. That makes me so mad! I’m so sorry about your dogs – and you – having to deal with this.

    Here’s hoping that 2010 is a whole lot better for you all. I mean that like “all of you,” not y’all. Y’know? And maybe you could move?

    Take care, Petrichoric!

    • petrichoric December 31, 2009 at 7:22 pm Reply

      Thank you for the good wishes for 2010. I wish the best for you, and your family, too! Also thank you for not using the phrase “y’all”. God, how I hate that phrase. Even worse is the possessive plural – “y’all’s” e.g. “Is that y’all’s sweet potato?” This year I have also been especially irritated by people who use the phrase “Woot! Woot!” to express excitement or enthusiasm. Ugh!

  5. Miss moxie November 11, 2011 at 1:37 am Reply

    That used to happen to me with the doxies I have. The neighbors behind us throw sweet bread over the fence during and after “fiestas” in their backyard. Last cinco de mayo, I threw the products of their gifts (read: shite) back over. Haven’t really received any more gifts since…

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