Call my name, here I come
Your last ditch lay, will I never learn?
Caramel turn on a dusty apology
It crawls all over me, you turn all over
It pains me, please just leave it
For four months I never once saw the Arab despite the fact that we work at the same company. This was fine by me, as I had decided he was a cheap sleazebag. Then I accidentally saw him while out running one day, and I was reminded of just how attractive he is, and I plunged into romantic and sexual obsession.
And, then, all of a sudden, he was everywhere. I saw him at work on Monday and I also ran into him in the supermarket on Wednesday! I was sick, and running a fever, and was standing in the wine section, trying to decide whether it was a stupid idea to buy a Malbec given that I couldn’t smell or taste anything. And then, all of a sudden, the only thing in front of me was a sea of red. My reactions were kinda delayed since I was sick, so it took me a few seconds to figure out that somebody had shoved their red shopping basket in my line of vision.
Yeah, it was the Arab, and he was on his cell phone, and before he turned the corner into the next aisle, he kinda slightly stuck his tongue out at me in an “aren’t-i-a-cheeky-chappy” kinda way. I have no idea if you can even visualize what I mean by that, but it was fucking annoying. Because, uh, no, you’re not a “cheeky chappy”, Mr. Arab. You’re an absolute wank. We were supposed to be going out on a date this week, and yet you didn’t get in touch to finalize anything, which is actually fine, since it’s pretty clear that we don’t have similar values. But, c’mon, when you blow a lady off, you sure as hell do not come up to her in the supermarket and stick your shopping basket in her face!!
Ugh, sleaze bag Mr. Arab: keep your tongue firmly in your mouth where it belongs, and just be glad I don’t have a gun like Thelma and Louise here:
But, you know, let me not waste another second writing about this guy. He’s not worth it. The obsession is over.