Curious….I’m going to blog about the effects of finally getting enough sleep, so I googled “Rest” to see what cool pictures I could find for the post, and I found R.E.S.T – Real Escape from the Sex Trade. That wasn’t really the kind of rest I had in mind. In fact, I have no intention of giving up sex work any time soon. I have been taking a break for the last couple of weeks, but rent is due soon, so I saw a client tonight. Embarrassingly, I have apparently seen this guy quite a few times before, and I barely remembered him at all although the last time was only a few months ago. It has occurred to me that there must be countless men who have been my clients, and who have seen me out and about in public at some point, and whom I wouldn’t recognize. This doesn’t make me feel slutty, but it does make me feel that I’m cheapening the sex act if I can’t even remember some of the dudes. I’m sure most of you think that being an erotic masseuse is already cheapening sex, or sexual intimacy, but I don’t think it has to be that way. It can be a meaningful exchange for both parties involved. I’d like to think that I would remember every guy I came into contact with, but obviously that is not the case. But who cares, eh? Would every dentist I’ve ever been to, for example, recognize me and my molars if they saw me in a non-dentist chair setting. I doubt it, and nobody would accuse them of cheapening dentistry.
But oh how I digress. I wanted to talk about sleep. I went to bed last night at 10:00 p.m. which must be the first time I’ve gone to bed that early since I was a wee girl. Admittedly I did read until 10:30 p.m. but that still gave me 7.5 hours sleep before getting up at 6:00 a.m. I wouldn’t say that I leapt out of bed with a spring in my step (um, I wasted 45 minutes posting cat videos to Facebook) but I certainly felt a whole lot more awake at work, and after coming home. My mood was noticeably brighter too.
It occurred to me with some sadness that a lot of the things I have fucked up in my life (relationships, job, graduate school etc) are probably the result of being sleep deprived, to a certain extent. I’m already (how could I put it kindly) somewhat emotionally labile by nature, and if you throw some lack of sleep into the mix (and, God forbid, alcohol and lack of food) I can barely control myself. There have definitely been many things I’ve said and done when deprived of sleep that I bitterly regret.
I’m not claiming that 8 hours sleep a night is a panacea for all mental health problems, but, hell, it gives you a stronger base to start off from.